Skip to main content

Keep Talking about Her

It has been quite here again.  I promise there is a logical reason for that! With Matthew away on deployment the kids and I took an extended vacation down to NC for the holidays.  We were there for Thanksgiving, Christmas, the New Year and for Conner's birthday.  Of course we were looking forward to seeing all the family and letting the kids get to know everyone better.  One thing that I did not anticipate happening while we were there was all the very natural and frequent mention of my mother.

You see my mom passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly 3 years ago.  With us being a military family, we aren't around our extended family very often.  My extended family are the people that knew my mother the best.  They hold her in their hearts daily as do I, but it is a little different in NC.  Different because they live in the same area that she lived and a lot of their surroundings can remind them of her.

While I was in NC there were so many places, occurrences, people and conversations that reminded me of my mother.  In IL I don't get many reminders of her.  In NC, I saw her in my Nina's (her mother's) house, I saw her in photos in many of my relative's houses, I saw her sitting in her favorite spot on the couch, in the bathroom straightening her hair, all over.  These places brought back her memory so clearly for me.  I remembered her while I drove from house to house, place to place and I thought of how we would eat here or meet there, about how she would bank there or grocery shop here.  She was everywhere and no where at the same time.

What's more, the people talked about her.  My mom was brought up in casual conversation regularly. From the,  "Oh, I remember when your mother" to the "Isabella/Conner is just like your mother" and even "Your mother used to...".  So many memories, so bitter sweet.  Each time her name was brought up was both painful and freeing.  It was refreshing to openly talk about her life and impact but it was also difficult to think that she isn't here to experience so many more milestones.  A lot of times people feel scared or feel it's inappropriate to bring up a loved one that has passed for fear of making others sad or bringing up old wounds.  I say, "Keep talking about her!"  The more I heard about my mother the more I could recall her personality, her liveliness, her stubbornness (She definitely passed that one on to me).  They brought her back to life for me, if only for a moment.  I could remember her as she was when she was on earth and not jump to the scary circumstances of her death.

Sure it is painful to think about someone that is not with you anymore.  But I realized in NC that it is important to bring up the good memories, the positive stories so that you can hold on to those and remember them fondly.  It really is healing and though my mother has been gone over 3 years, I am still healing and will always miss her.  Now that we are back in IL, I am going to try and purposefully remember my mother and share those memories with her grandchildren.

Life is about the acquisition of memories because in the end that is all that we will have left.


Comments

Unknown said…
I so pleased to hear that you are open to hear about your Mother. This means you on
Your way. To a happier life.

Popular posts from this blog

Moving Right Along

So with the due date nearing and the anticipation of finally being able to hold our precious baby girl, I thought that I would share a little bit of my everyday normal for now!  I am one day away from being 38 weeks along and let me tell you:  I have one active baby inside me!  Yes, she loves to move around and kick/punch mommy in the gut, ribs, and pelvis!  Some of these kicks are so strong that I actually jump!  For those of you that don't believe it could get that bad...oh have I got a treat for you!  I recorded a mere 1.5 min video of my belly!  Now this video is only a small taste of what she does ALL DAY LONG!  And yes at night too!  It's no wonder I have such a hard time sleeping.  So without further ado, here is Ms. Isabella Marie Ohrvall staring in her first movie entitled:  Making Waves in Mommy's Tummy.  :) Update on presentation:  Isabella is still breech and we are diligently trying all that we can to ...

Seated with Christ: An Imaginative Activity

This post is from an imaginative activity prompted from the book "Seated with Christ" by Heather Holleman.  The question posed was: "As an imaginative exercise, describe your seat in the heavenly realms with as precise and vivid detail as possible.  What do you see, hear, smell, taste and feel?  What are you wearing?  What are you experiencing in your mind?"  The following is my answer: I'm seated, comfortable and relaxed.  I have no worries.  All I can physically do is sit and stare at the majesty that is my most indescribable Lord that sits before me.  The most magnificent smells of the Earth can not compare to the wondrous smells that permeate the air here.  They remind me of some of my favorite smells on Earth such as lavender, the beach and pine wood needles; but there is something else entirely in the air that I can not put words to.  The songs of angels saturate the air but seem to fade into the background at the same time. ...

Australian Vacation

Hello all!   I know that it has been quite a long time since I last posted a blog but I decided it was time for another post.  Having a little one crawling all over the place really takes up my time now-a-days.  Infact, the only reason I am able to write this now is because she is napping.  Maybe I will be able to get this done in the time it takes for one nap...we shall see.  So here it goes. This past week the Ohrvalls' took a much needed vacation to Cairns, Australia.  Matthew and I had such a blast taking Isabella on her first family vacation but it was difficult to transition our old vacationing without kids mindset and bring it to a vacationing with a baby mindset.  It is quite different going on vacation with an 8 month old than it is with just two adults.  Needless to say, we spent a lot more time in the hotel room during nap time and at parks for playtime.  But we were still able to do a lot of really fun stuff as a family that we ...